gallery. martin capdevila
I do or I don't the wedding season?
As summer fast approaches, so does the wedding season. Yikes. I'm never sure if I enjoy weddings or if I enjoy gorging myself on food and drinks knowing I was not involved in the planning. In either case, there is a clear tendency nowadays to let things get out of hand, and our expectations around weddings have become ridiculous.
Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” Fortunately, nowadays we don't need to imagine. Social media has heightened our sensitivity to the fact that we are on display, and made us hyper-aware of the parts of our lives that we can edit for the consumption of others. As a result it is easy to connect to, see, and interact with glimpses of lavish lifestyles of the rich and famous, but we have convinced ourselves that living this way is possible. As a result, so many weddings are based on the idea that having an extravagant wedding is both acceptable and affordable. Sadly, this means that everyone else involved in the process becomes involved and obligated to contribute and participate. Just being in the wedding party requires even more commitment, both in terms of time and money!
More than a day
From spa days and brunches, to week-long celebrations, bachelor and bachelorette parties, stag and hen parties, as well as showers and gifts (being showered with gifts), we seem to have lost our perspective about what a wedding is about. This is all before even getting to the exorbitant cost of the photography, music, venue, catering, drinks, décor, and so much more, not to mention the fact that there is documented evidence of businesses charging a premium simply when the word “wedding” is mentioned. Then add to this the tradition of engagement rings with the commonly held idea that a ring “should” cost 10% of one's annual income. To be clear, this “common” idea was actually pushed by diamond companies. These days it seems that engagements have become yet another essential piece of the intricate wedding-planning puzzle, followed by the growing and ridiculous trend of bridesmaid proposals. Indeed, it is a $300 billion (€280 billion) global industry. Thankfully, this level of indulgence has yet to fully arrive in Catalonia, but it looms on the horizon given the natural tendency in this industry to follow trends in the United States.
We seem to have forgotten that, if you even choose to have a wedding, it should be focused on the couple rather than the expectations of distant family members, the need to impress guests, and the “prestige” of the event. Yet, we never stop to think about the ludicrous nature of spending tens of thousands of euros on a single Saturday. There is no other single event in our lives that is quite as expensive, aside from buying a house.
Icarus generation
As a generation that has suffered difficulties in the job, housing, and financial markets, yet who are also extremely well-educated overall, it is surprising that we millennials treat marriage this way. Perhaps we should be taking the money we arguably spend more for others, and use it to invest in our futures, travel and learning about other cultures, or just save it for something we want.
Maybe we are a bit like Icarus. We are constantly bombarded with images and ideas about what our ideal life should be. Then we believe a life that is clearly out of reach to be within our grasp; we think we can reach such great heights ourselves until we try to fly that high only to be let down. I feel as though we have a responsibility to openly discuss whether the things we do to celebrate weddings are actually steeped in love, tradition, love of tradition, greed, or self-aggrandizement. Who are we celebrating and why? And are we really celebrating them at all?